This post is a few days late due to Dad’s birthday and some back and forth travel to Ellensburg to help Mom.
Over all the week was great. Things that I have taken note of in this weeks work outs and eating and reading.
Alcohol – my consumption is down these last few weeks by about 60% What use to be a bottle of wine per night, is a bottle every 2-3 days instead. While I miss my wine, this should make a HUGE difference in my weight loss/getting in shape. The average bottle of red wine is about 625 calories. So what use to be about 4400 calories a week in wine, is now closer to 1800, so about 43% +/- Also I have not been doing my usual 3 out of 4 Saturdays of wine tasting, which likely added another bottle worth (though I will be returning to the wineries shortly for tastings)
Fruit and Veggies – eating a lot more of these, so some good fiber and nutrients from them is def helping me in a lot of ways.
Smaller portions – I am finding that with the increase of fruit and veg, a lot less meat in single sittings, less every thing else. So maybe the “weight” of stuff I am eating has not changed a lot, the “what I am eating” has.
As for the Quote at the top of the post. The hardest part is letting go, realizing that, understanding that there is no going back as long as only one of us wants too. Not that we could Go Back to what it was anyway. It would need to evolve and change, what we left was not working. It would need to be something new, built on the ashes of the past, with a new approach, new understanding.
Before the Coffee Gets Cold is the book I am in, and I sort of do not get it. That said, I feel I should get it, as it really sort of directly relates to my relationship situation I think… I will finish it this week (Week 4), then its on to Being Happy, a short book I have read before, but need again right now. That will take only a few days. Then I finish Marriage Rules (likely Week 6s read).
I also need to implement the tools in Change Your Life in 7 Days. Have to work on that.
Next week I will have a Sponsorship Announcement, and some product discounts. Exciting! I have not been sponsored for anything in a long time! So excited to return to the promotions realm.
Thank you all to those that read these ramblings and follow my journey.
It is Dad’s birthday today… Would have been 82. For those that know me (or have been following my posts here), know that we lost Dad Oct 23rd 2022, Legionella and Covid complications. Dad was my hero. The most solid man I have ever known, and someone I aspire to live up too. He set the standard. Pure and simple.
The loss of Dad is massive, more than I can explain. It has affected me in ways I could not anticipate. My now ex, RS, even mentioned that at one point. I think what it was is that I hyper focused on Life, and what I wanted, how I wanted to live, and brought into focus that life is not forever… it is finite and any minute it could end. That I need to go get what I want! How that affected me and RS, that is a different post. Much more lengthy, and not just Dad focused. RS and I are a book in and of itself.
Happy Birthday Dad. We miss you and love you. You are my hero. I strive daily to be everything you were as a Man.
That is what this 90 Days is about – Some new direction. Now I am not trashing my previous life, or how I did things, the reality I have done really well all in all. I like who I am, I think most people like who I am… Right? Right…?
This is more about life changes, fixing, tweeking, rounding corners, sharpening edges as needed, minor course correction on things. My basic goals: * Get into better shape * Increase my income, adding at least an extra $20K in 2024, and $30K in 2025 * Sharpen some skills, become a better leader * Learn some new skills (that will lead to the added income) * Get my Soul right, align my life with who God designed me to be * Get my Heart right, I want marriage and (God Willing) kids
This week (Week 2) was about really getting use to the plan, getting comfortable with 4am, really dialing in the work outs and readings, working on ways to simplify meals (as I find in the morning I quickly run out of time).
The week was a success, energy is starting to roll up from the morning and evening work outs, so while 4am sucks, it does not suck near as bad as it did last week, and I feel it will get easier and easier the next couple weeks.
Going into Week 3 I will increase the Peloton in the AM to 15 to 20 work outs, along with my 7-10 minute morning work out routine (thus the need for quicker/easier breakfasts as I was already jammed for time, and now I am adding 5 to 10 mins to the work out period)
I have made a few dietary changes this first two weeks. First, alcohol consumption is way down. I was averaging about a bottle of wine per day plus wine tasting most weekends. Week 1 I did not drink until my Wine Event on Saturday 11th, Week 2 was only two bottles all week. Week 3 will likely stay at 2-3 bottles. I expect this becomes the new norm, 2-3 bottles a week. Second, Fruits and Veggies. I have always done a decent amount of veggies I feel. A lot of asparagus and cauliflower. I have added salads almost every day, and some greens like kale or collard greens a couple times per week. Fruit I have stepped up a lot. Pineapple, cantaloupe, honey dew, almost every day at breakfast and sometimes dinner or a snack. Third working on portion size a little. Making sure I get what I need, but not over doing it. Forth, I have cut energy drink consumption in half as compared to my last 20 years of life. I substituted Wheat Grass and Matcha powder for the morning energy drink, but those are definitely better than an energy drink, mixing them with OJ is a little on the sugary side, but worth it.
Over all not a lot of noticeable changes body wise. My hope/desire is the small gut I have being gone sometime soon (the “dad bod”). I do feel my chest has started to gain shape. Weight wise I started at 203lb, I am 200 most weigh ins. 3lb is really a rounding error/when I eat/when I hit the bathroom. So not a change in my mind. In my perfect world I would get down to 195ish without the spare tire.
Faith wise, I am in the Book of Matthew. Calling Jesus, my daily devotional, starts my day, the Bible and The Light of His Presence (prayer book) ends the day. I will blog on those learnings in a different post.
Progress is good. I am happy with the efforts I have put forth, as my buddy DCT said on a FB post, he does not want to see “Crushing It” shout outs until day “39 or 63” so I will not say that here. But I do feel very good about where I am at.
One week into this and feeling GREAT about it. Struggles? YES…getting up at 4am is difficult. On Friday I almost did not get up, laid in bed 10 minutes debating changing that days work out to after work, so doubling up on afternoon work outs. A little self talk and I was up and at it.
Change Your Life in 7 Days by Paul McKenna was a great way to start this journey. I have had the book for 10ish years and started it once. It comes with a hypnosis CD you listen too, has practical lessons using imagination and coupling that with a thumb to middle finger pinch (sort of Pavlov’s Dog like training). Need a positive boost thumb to middle finger pressure, triggers the memory you associated with it and Boom a little burst of positive thought process.
I am about halfway through Matthew in the New Testament, I need to do some posting about that on its own.
I added a work out routine, not sure how I feel about it yet “Muscle Booster” has an app, and a small feel for a “customized” work out based on some metrics that it counts on your knowing what you put in. 7 Minutes in the morning, then a Strength based routing in afternoons. Only two days into that, so we will see how that goes. Peloton is my main source of work, with all the classes they have.
Have cut alcohol dramatically. Did not drink last week Saturday (4th) to Friday (10th). Had a glass of wine Friday (10th), and then Saturday (11th) had Taste of Washington, so a lot of wine. Nothing Sunday. Verses recently pretty close to a bottle of wine a day… so a 75 to 80% cut in alcohol consumption this last week. I will likely return to something pretty close to daily this week or next, but def will not be returning to a bottle a night.
Massive progress on the garage clean up. Will need a dump run next weekend for sure. A LOT of paper getting tossed. Notebooks and papers from as long ago as Highschool (so 1988…) and college. Will sort the books also and unload a ton of them. Also have a lot of GameClucks/Northwest Majors equipment to get rid of as well.
Next book up is Before The Coffer Gets Cold. I wanted to get Being Happy in the mix, but cannot find my copies right now, will find them as I clean the garage.
As mentioned in the previous post, I need to make somethings right within me. Round some corners, maybe sharpen a couple of edges, be better with me, so that I can be better with someone else. Get God Centered as well. I have been a regular Church go’er for about 20, 21, 22 years. I like Church, I always leave feeling better about life, myself, others, but I have not formed the habit of Prayer, Thanks, Praise that I want.
The next 90 days, starting on Monday March 6th 2023, will be a deep dive into myself, my health, my home, my Faith, my relationships.
The TV gets shut off for the most part, outings are cut down to only the “need to go to”, dating is out, reading is in, working out is in, cleaning my home and doing maintenance is in, eating better is in.
I will be getting up at 415am daily, maybe 6 on weekends, in bed by 9pm, targeting 7hrs minimum sleep, which for me will be a lot, as I am lucky to actually sleep much more than 5ish hours a night. Hoping I am sync up my body clock and get the sleep needed.
The books for this 90 Days are split into two groups. The ones standing up (Bible, Jesus Calling, The Light of His Presence, and the two small Maxwell Books) will be daily reading throughout the day. The ones laying down (Change Your Life in 7 Days, Before the Coffee Gets Cold, Marriage Rules, Make Your Bed, Single On Purpose, Relationship Cure, The Four Agreements and Building Up One Another) will be the books I read through, about 20-30 pages per day.
The basic schedule: Monday – Fridays Morning – Up at 415am, Peloton 10-20 mins, Jesus Calling, Pray, Breakfast, Go to Work Afternoon – At Work Evening – Peloton (ride and/or body conditioning class 20-30 mins), Bible Study (reading New Test from front to back, one chapter a day), Read 20-30 pages from Book List, Dinner, One hour TV max, Light of His Presence, Pray, Bed by 9pm
Saturday Morning – Up by 6am, Peloton 10-20 mins, Jesus Calling, Pray, Breakfast, One Hour+ Home Maint/Cleaning Afternoon – If I have an outing to do, do it, else Home Maint for an Additional One of Two Hours. Home by 3pm though Evening – Bible Study (reading New Test from front to back, one chapter a day), Read 20-30 pages from Book List, Dinner, One hour TV max, Light of His Presence, Pray, Bed by 10pm
Sunday Morning – Up by 6am, Peloton 10-20 mins, Jesus Calling, Pray, Breakfast, Church Afternoon – This is my “Free Day”, if you do not Rest after a week of hard work, what is the point? Evening – Prep for the Week, Dinner, One hour TV max, Light of His Presence, Pray, Bed by 9pm
I will be writing and note taking as I do this, will blog it a couple times a week as well. I have a few TedTalks I cycle into this mix as well (so likely give up some TV for a TedTalk once week, luckily I do not watch a lot of TV unless there is nothing else to do.
I will be cutting my alcohol consumption significantly as well, starting with this week. The goal is 50% less on a daily basis. This week starting yesterday (Saturday 3/4) and until Saturday 3/11/23 when I have the Taste of Washington event, I will not drink this week at all, then cut by 50% the rest of the time.
Replace Bad Habits with Good Ones, become more well rounded, healthier, and get my mind and body right for whatever comes next in life. I have not given up the dream of marriage and kids, or moving to Italy part time by 2024, or any of that, just need to get somethings in order to make all of that happen.
For those reading this, please spread the word on my journey, better yet join me on it? If me doing something like this can help one other person get themselves “right” then BRAVO! Thanks for the support in this.
The second half of 2022 and early 2023… ROUGH. Not sure rough even covers it.
Now I am a pretty real person, I am pretty honest with myself about who and what I am. Honest about what I can do, and not do. Sure I am cocky in how I speak often, but if you know me, that is more of an “act”, not a fake act, just a confident act mixed with humour. I joke about my ability good and bad. I am sort of Friends Chandler funny at times, except actually pretty confident. I am well educated, two degrees, a ton of business experience across a half dozen industries. I am pretty honest and real with myself about who I am.
A great family trip to Italy (Aug/Sept 2022), and then my father gets sick near the end of the trip. He spends six weeks in a hospital in Rome, we get him home to the US, and a week later he is in the hospital here in the States, we all agree to have him intubated, and then a few days later we make the tough decision to let him go (Oct 23rd 2022). My World is shaken in a way I could not expect, in a way I could not comprehend.
His memorial, Nov 13th 2022, I give his eulogy. I posted it once before, the video. Hardest speaking I have ever done. God had a message for me to give in that eulogy… I was certain then it was for someone else in the room (I still am), but maybe it was not just for them?
From his eulogy: “Judge not and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive and you will be forgiven” Luke 6:37 “I am not sure who this is for, not sure why this has weighted on me, but if you at any level, feel any sort of anger, resentment, what have you toward Tom, Dad, he would want to have known (about it) and solved it with you. So please take this opportunity and Let It Go! Allow him to stay in your memory and heart, as the man he was… ‘fair, even handed, stern when needed, cheer leader, teacher, boss, manager, leader, father, husband, grandfather, uncle, friend.'”
My father and I had a great relationship, no anger between us, no resentment, he was my hero day in and day out, EXCEPT I was mad. I was (am?) angry. He left us. I feel some measure of guilt as well, I made the decision to let him go (not just me, we all made the decision, but I feel a great responsibility for it, whether I should or not, I do), when I knew (believed?) there was another way. Dont get me wrong I am not (really) second guessing Doctors, except I am. That message God put on me, was for ME as much as someone else in the crowd.
My love related relationships have always been some measure of a mess, whose havent? The last 22 years has been dominated by two long term relationships and two shorter ones. 10 years with HS, almost 8 years with BW, a few months with PS and the one that just ended with RS, 1.5 years. The relationship with RS was def a candle burning at both ends. It was the hottest, and really, most significant relationship of those four. The dirty details are not needed. Why did these fail? A lot of reasons, some not in my control, many in my control. I am difficult to live with, especially now at 53, I am set in my ways with some basics to be sure. RS and I had a lot of disagreement about many of these things, things I see as just common sense (dishes into the dish washer, use a cutting board do not just cut straight on the counter, clean up after yourself, if you spill wipe it up), and some things I just have never seen as important (pictures on the walls, allowing the other person to feel as at home as you do by having their things mixed in as well, making agreements on what things are important to have and which ones are not). I need to have more honest/strightforward conversations about those non-negotiable items and the negotiable ones, and not just think I can roll with some of the ones I may not like, or some of the ones I believe are common sense, because sense is NOT common anymore. So another failed relationship that really could have been saved or made a lot better, maybe it would have failed anyway? But it should not have failed in the way it did, or not right now (maybe a blessing it failed now and not 5 years from now? But that is a different discussion. It was not supposed to fail when and how it did, that I know)
What does all of this lead up too? I have work to do… This weekend (March 3rd/4th) I will launch into a 60 or 90 day plan to deep clean my house, and myself. My garage needs to desperately be organized, I have a three car garage that I cannot park a car in. My house is pretty clean, but needs some serious attention. April I will redo the master bathroom, but simple things like the carpet cleaned, baseboards touched up. Drywall cracks fixed. Cupboards organized. In addition, I need a Deep Cleaning. Identify the things I need to improve on, and improve on them. Maybe learn a new skill or two. Buff up my managerial process and practices.
I need to get Real Real with myself about some things. I need to “unbecome everything that isn’t really (me), so (I) can be who (I was) meant to be“ That is my journey. The next 60-90 days will all about that. Social media will be minimized (exc to post about this and food/wine pics, one of the skills I hope to improve is the picture taking), TV shut off, outtings limited to things I have to do for work or have a commitment to, intense Bible study, intense dive into some books, Ted Talks, deep cleaning of the house and myself. I think I have 10 books right now I want to get into, some of them are daily 2-3 page inspiration things, some are read and note take, contemplate, internalize. get back to the trading desk and trade Options and Forex again.
Do I think this will make me a whole new person? No, that is not what it is meant to do. I am still Me, and will still be me. But can I round some sharp edges? Learn some things? Improve some things? That is the goal. Set myself up for the next 10 years of Income Earning, Peace, Joy, Health and Happiness.
Next post will be more in depth as to the plan, the goals, to hold me accountable.
So I am WAY behind where I wanted to be on posts, but it has been a WHIRLWIND so far in Italy. Milan, Venice, Florence, San Gimignano, Bologna and now on the train to Rome (and then to Sorrento).
I figure most of the detailed posts will have to wait until I am home and then will gather thoughts and notes and pictures over the next few weeks.
So far the trip has been amazing, Food, food and more food, wine flowing pretty free also. Prices in Italy for many things are significantly cheaper than I remembered, the EUR and USD are about even, which helps a lot as well. Dinner is usually about $15-$25 a person, for two, if not three courses and wine. And this is not Olive Garden italian food… this is real food. Your average pizza, about the size of a medium from Domino’s, $10-$12. Bottle of wine $8-$20 ($20 is extreme, usually $12-$16), a glass $4-$6, maybe $8 if you go top end.
Quick thoughts on cities we have stayed in: Milan – not a lot to see, food is so-so, likely a good party city, as it is the most modern city in Italy. Venice – I am not a fan. Have been twice now. The history of Venice is amazing but the actual place leaves something to be desired. Florence – amazing sites, great food. A lot of our group did not like it, but I do. I especially like the surrounding countryside San Gimignano – Tuscan Hill Town, but very touristy. It is the visual representation of Tuscany, but is not the intimate, individualistic, Hill Town experience. Worth the visit, but not a long stay. Bologna – Still confused by this place, just leaving the city right now.
The trip on the whole is amazing. Even if parts of it have not hit the spot for me, something in every place is has been someone else’s favourite. Just being here in Italy is fantastic.
We had quite a few side trips, wineries, restaurants, cheese prosciutto and basalmic makers. Details on those things and more coming.
Milano, or Milan, is located in the Lombardy region in northern Italy. It is the financial hub for Italy. It is also a fashion and design capital, arguably for the World and is Italy’s most “modern” city. Home to about 1.4 million people, and about 4.4million in the greater Milan area.
Personally, I found food in Milan to be so-so. But they do have some very notable dishes.
Costoletta alla Milanese A veal cutlet, dredged in bread crumbs and pan fried to golden perfection. My father had this at the restaurant we went to in Milan, it was very good.
Risotto alla Milanese This was the dish I was most excited for, as I love Risotto and make it often. Given its golden yellow colour from the saffron, it should be velvety and refined. Now maybe it was the restaurant we were at, but it was slightly undercooked and not velvety at all. Flavour was spot on, texture was not.
Ossobuc Maybe the best known dish from Milan, though I do not know if anyone knows it is from MIlan, the Risotto alla Milanese is the most recognized from Milan is my guess. Ossobuco means “marrowbone”, and is usually served with Risotto alla Milanese. This is made with a slice of shin on the bone, veal, pan fried and then stewed for a bit in broth, and topped with “gremolada” (a paste of garlic, lemon peal and parsely). Done right and this savory dish will blow your mind. Very good and well prepared. This bailed the Risotto out and saved dinner for me, I had it with potatoes (dry and chewy), as I had just eaten a while plate of the Risotto.
RS had the Caprese Salad (tomato, buffalo mozzarella and fresh basil), and a very good filet with roasted tomato and eggplant. Maybe the best meal of every one on the trip. Amazing flavour.
While not what I hoped for in Milan, it was still good and Milan has some great things to see, which we will get into in the next post.
Jan 1st 2022, I started Core 52, a fifteen minute daily guide to build your Bible IQ in a year.
Each week there is an Essay in the Core 52 book (Mondays), followed by a memorization passage, usually a chapter reading (or two), a meditation group of passages and then an “action” to end the week on Fridays. So 5 days of 15 minutes per day Bible Study. Church started a Facebook Group for it, and one of the Pastor’s and another lady from the Church make daily posts in relation to the days material, and ask questions to help everyone gain grater focus or understanding
It has been a great help in keeping me involved with Church and Faith. Once done with this, end of this year, I will start Jesus Calling again and redo it from Jan 1st likely.
Ten of us on this trip, eight from Seattle and two from New York. Meeting in Frankfurt, then on to Milan, Italy.
The basic outline is Milan -> Venice -> Florence -> San Giamono -> Bologna -> Rome -> Sorrento/Capri and then fly out of Naples.
Three generations of Anderson-Huppert’s on this trip. Organized by my parents (TA, CA), the tip includes by sister, her husband and their three boys (LH, BH, KDA, RH, JH) and the oldest’s nephew’s girl friend (G) and then myself and my girl friend (RS).
Food, wine, sights, and who knows what else in store for u over the next three or so weeks.
