Category: Spiritual

Originally Read and Commented on 3.22.21

Matthew 6:16-18
If you have fasted in the past, how has it drawn you closer to God? What is something you cab fast from in this current season?:
This is something I need to work up to. PS has done Whole 30, and we discussed if we continue forward in our relationship, doing it as a couple. You give yo sugar, alcohol, and some other things. Two of my weaknesses.
She challenged me to 1 week of no Alc, and I added extra sugar. specific to candy and treats. I failed on the candy/treats front. So I started it again. Just short of two weeks no Alc, and one slip up on the treats. My reaction to this failure was a huge point of contention between PS and I, because of my reaction to the failure. I was so mad at myself for letting her down, and not following through, that I went against her, almost blaming her for my failure. I was so mad at myself for it.
Fasting is something I need to learn more about and do.

[[4.13 Update]] I am really bummed that I will not be doing Whole 30 with PS as a means of fasting in the future. We had plans for some things, dance lessons, Whole 30, other things. I am extremely sad about missing out on these things with her. I will find my own reasons to do these things. But the fun of doing this was to do them with her.

Originally Read and Commented on 3.21.21

John 14:16-17
What parts of your life have you Surrendered to God? What parts have you held back?:
Surrender is my biggest challenge. I am not sure how to Surrender. On 3.23 I have a sit down with my Pastor to discuss this topic specifically.
I feel I have surrendered a bit, I have accepted Jesus, I have always believed, I pray daily (and have for years and years). But i cannot name individual things, or aspects. I need to learn to Surrender.
My friend PS tells me about it all the time. She sees so much potential in me, but I need to surrender. It is the biggest wall between us right now.
More to come on this…

[[4.13 Update]] Still a challenge. But I do know I have surrendered many things. I have sort of taken surrender for granted, without recognizing it. I am on the last two days of the 40 Days, and I have learned so much that as I read the day, I did not understand it, to now, I have accepted so much of these topics as the norm. I just never named them. With PS and I not together, and ending our relationship, I am leaning more and more on God, as I realize I need to surrender a lot of my drive to use intellect to solve issues. Something she and I have discussed a lot. This however is NOT the reason she and I were in each others lives, part of it maybe, but this is not it. I do need to surrender though. I am surrendering.

Originally Read and Commented on 3.20.21

What is one way your perspective on Joy has shifted during time journaling this topic?:
I always associated Joy and Happiness as the same thing. Through this I have learned they are not the same. Joy is Internally generated, from the Heart (Soul), it is triggered by God and His workings. Happiness is External, it is from laughing children, good times, a spouse, birthdays and holidays. Itis from those around you.

Identify an area in your life in which you could apply something you learned about Joy:
I need to apply Obedience and Salvation in my life. In my daily life, staying true to my prayer, obedient to it, same with my reading of scripture. I have an Accountability partner, and I have a regular sit down with my Pastor scheduled. I need to stay Obedient to those things.

Which aspect of Joy (happiness, praise, obedience, salvation) are you committed to working on right now?:
Obedience

Originally Read and Commented on 3.19.21

Psalm 16
In what ways has obedience to God brought joy to your life:
I have not been that obedient to God, as I have said in previous entries. Recently God has brought someone into my life, PS, and she has helped with Happiness and Joy. She has helped me to get back into Church and work toward a goal of Surrender. PS has been Happiness for sure. Likely she has helped me to find Joy, in that I have began to be more Obedient, I have started with this book and with returning to Church to walk His Path better.

3.18.21
[[Reposted and some updates on 4.13.21 as I turn these into individual blog posts]]
Romans 5:6-11
How do you think the attitudes of believers would change if they truly recognized salvation as the source of their joy?:
We would become more Faithful. Joy is Internal happiness. It is generated from inside of us. If we are Faithful and Listen, God will bless us with Joy. Joy will abound within us.

3.17.21
[[Reposted and some updates on 4.13.21 as I turn these into individual blog posts]]
Isaiah 25:1
Take time to write out why God is praiseworthy and all that I am thankful for:
God is good, all the time. He is faithful to us with his promise. If you look and listen, he is everywhere, as long as you pay attention.
He rewards faithfulness with blessing.

3.16.21
[[Reposted and some updates on 4.12.21 as I turn these into individual blog posts]]
Psalm 1:1-8
How have you found Happiness in God?
To get myself straight, I had to define Joy vs Happiness.
Joy is internal, Happiness is external. We are joyful because of something inside of us. We are happy because something made us happy.
Happiness for me is seeing PS. Its good friends and family. It is intentional prayer. It is external fun, a party, wedding, good time.

3.15.21
[[Reposted and some updates on 4.12.21 as I turn these into individual blog posts]]
John 20:1-8 and Luke 24:13-25
What are the mental pictures that come to mind when you hear the word Joy?
Happiness, Kids Laughing, Parents and Grandparents, Health, Weddings.
[[4.13 Update]] Joy is generated internally, given by God. Joy is because of something inside of us. It comes from the Heart (the moral center, not emotional center, in this case Heart = Soul)

3.14.21
[[Reposted and some updates on 4.13.21 as I turn these into individual blog posts]]
What is one way your perspective on suffering has shifted?
I need to be more mindful of suffering, allow it to sink in, and turn to God in prayer about it. Lean into Him.
[[4.13 Update]] The situation with PS is a perfect example. I tend to deal with these situations (and currently am doing this) logically, and through my mind. I need to lean into God and Trust that He knows why and what to do. This is a struggle for me.

Identify an area in your life in which you could apply something you learned about suffering?
I need to lean into God when I am suffering. I need to rely on Him for guidance . I tend to solve my own issues, think my way out, but I need to allow Him to work within and through me.

Which aspect of suffering (Pain/Loss, Hardship/Struggle, Darkness, Perseverance) are you committed to working on right now?
Darkness and Perseverance (Grief) are what I need to work on. I need to better see the light by leaning into God.
[[4.13 Update]] Suffering is key for me also… I do not understand it. I need to work on it

3.13.21
[[Reposted and some updates on 4.13.21 as I turn these into individual blog posts]]
James 1:2-4
When was the last time you experienced grief? How did God help you through it?:
Grief is not something I have a lot of experience with. I tend to be very upbeat and positive. I do not let a lot get in the way. That maybe part of my Journey though. Maybe I need to experience Grief, Pain, Loss in order to find Sacrifice and Surrender.
Do not get me wrong, I feel bad at times, I feel loss. But I pull myself up and move on quickly. I do not dwell on things.
I feel as though maybe I need to allow that pain and loss, Grief, to sit for a bit.
[[4.13 Update]] A VERY important person just stepped out of my life – PS. She is moving back toward family and I am extremely happy for her, but there is incredible loss related to that. She and I were CLOSE, very Close. We had a rough couple of weeks, and she needs to do what is right for her and move.
I have experienced Loss and Grief related to a relationship, but this one is different, as we both knew God put us together for some reason. Our connection was amazing when we were connecting. Bad/Damaging to each of us when we were not connecting. I believed we were together for long term reasons, but short term, def for each of us to work on compatibility. 10-12 weeks of time with her and its over. Remain friends? Likely, but it will not be the same without the every morning and night txt, without the 2-5hr phone calls most nights.
I believe this is part of my Suffering, Grief, that I need to experience, and frankly it sucks.
Will I Persevere? Of course I will. (situation still sucks though hah)