Tag: spiritual

3.15.21
[[Reposted and some updates on 4.12.21 as I turn these into individual blog posts]]
John 20:1-8 and Luke 24:13-25
What are the mental pictures that come to mind when you hear the word Joy?
Happiness, Kids Laughing, Parents and Grandparents, Health, Weddings.
[[4.13 Update]] Joy is generated internally, given by God. Joy is because of something inside of us. It comes from the Heart (the moral center, not emotional center, in this case Heart = Soul)

3.14.21
[[Reposted and some updates on 4.13.21 as I turn these into individual blog posts]]
What is one way your perspective on suffering has shifted?
I need to be more mindful of suffering, allow it to sink in, and turn to God in prayer about it. Lean into Him.
[[4.13 Update]] The situation with PS is a perfect example. I tend to deal with these situations (and currently am doing this) logically, and through my mind. I need to lean into God and Trust that He knows why and what to do. This is a struggle for me.

Identify an area in your life in which you could apply something you learned about suffering?
I need to lean into God when I am suffering. I need to rely on Him for guidance . I tend to solve my own issues, think my way out, but I need to allow Him to work within and through me.

Which aspect of suffering (Pain/Loss, Hardship/Struggle, Darkness, Perseverance) are you committed to working on right now?
Darkness and Perseverance (Grief) are what I need to work on. I need to better see the light by leaning into God.
[[4.13 Update]] Suffering is key for me also… I do not understand it. I need to work on it

3.13.21
[[Reposted and some updates on 4.13.21 as I turn these into individual blog posts]]
James 1:2-4
When was the last time you experienced grief? How did God help you through it?:
Grief is not something I have a lot of experience with. I tend to be very upbeat and positive. I do not let a lot get in the way. That maybe part of my Journey though. Maybe I need to experience Grief, Pain, Loss in order to find Sacrifice and Surrender.
Do not get me wrong, I feel bad at times, I feel loss. But I pull myself up and move on quickly. I do not dwell on things.
I feel as though maybe I need to allow that pain and loss, Grief, to sit for a bit.
[[4.13 Update]] A VERY important person just stepped out of my life – PS. She is moving back toward family and I am extremely happy for her, but there is incredible loss related to that. She and I were CLOSE, very Close. We had a rough couple of weeks, and she needs to do what is right for her and move.
I have experienced Loss and Grief related to a relationship, but this one is different, as we both knew God put us together for some reason. Our connection was amazing when we were connecting. Bad/Damaging to each of us when we were not connecting. I believed we were together for long term reasons, but short term, def for each of us to work on compatibility. 10-12 weeks of time with her and its over. Remain friends? Likely, but it will not be the same without the every morning and night txt, without the 2-5hr phone calls most nights.
I believe this is part of my Suffering, Grief, that I need to experience, and frankly it sucks.
Will I Persevere? Of course I will. (situation still sucks though hah)

3.12.21
[[Reposted and some updates on 4.13.21 as I turn these into individual blog posts]]
Matthew 27:45-54, John 1:4-5
Reflect on a time when you experienced a greater sense of Light after passing through a season of Darkness. Consider whether you would take the idea of “light” for granted if you did not know “darkness”:
2009/2010 and 2014/2015 were periods of Darkness for me. My bankruptcy and BW’s attack and recovery. Both crushing at the time in their weight and darkness. I have described in some detail both above (though I admit I have not gone back and read what I typed above, as I do not want to “correct” things and make them “nicer” as this is meant to be sort of gut level stuff.)
The BK was a personal darkness, while BW was a family/shared darkness.
I am good at seeing the “Light at the End of the Tunnel”, I am generally a positive driven person, I have episodes of negative thought or action, but on the whole a positive person. The BK was a lot harder to see the light, as I was personally depressed and defeated. But ultimately, I pulled myself out of it, my self preservation and history of being a driven and confident person, would not allow me to stay down. I came roaring back. The HVAC/Chimney company, then moving into the RV Industry as a recruiter, 6ish months into that taking over the Collision/Insurance Depart, and then a year later running five dealerships as the Director of Fixed Operations. An industry I had never been in, 3ish years to running five dealerships? Since then I gained a reputation as a Fixed Ops Troubleshooter. Hired by two other RV Companies to fix individual dealerships and now being recruited by two consulting companies to be a Fixed Ops Specialist.
Since 2013 and the HVAC company my pay and responsibility has gone up by over 300%. Light is there, you have to be willing to see it, work toward it, allow God to help and pray for guidance. 2013 to 2018 were likely my most Faithful years. I need to change that and make TODAY my new start and be more Faithful. And everyday after the Most Faithful day.

3.11.21
[[Reposted and some updates on 4.13.21 as I turn these into individual blog posts]]
John 11:25-26
What hardship or struggle are you dealing with right now? Write out a prayer giving it to God and laying it at the foot of the cross:
My current struggle is getting back on His Path. While I have never strayed that far, I have never really fully followed it. I have always lived my life doing what I know to be best, what I believed to be best, how “I” thought He wanted me to do things. What I was missing was His Will in it. He would point me in a direction and I would go… but I then took the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc steps on my own. THAT SAID, I fully believe in Free Will, there are times that God expects us to act on our own, with his Guidance at some level. BUT when he lays out a path or direction and does not clearly tell you to go at it, then you have to learn to Wait and Listen. I have not been very good at that.
The Struggle for me is Waiting, Listening, having Faith, Patients.
Prayer: “Heavenly Father, please open my heart and fill me with your Spirit. Help to discipline me to learn to Wait and Listen. To follow your Guidance and stay on your path. My mind often gets in the way, you have blessed me with my natural talents, but I need to lean on you for Guidance in how to proceed and use them. Help to open my heart and give me the patients to wait in Your word. Amen.”

3.9.21
[[Reposted and some updates on 4.12.21 as I turn these into individual blog posts]]
Revelations 21:1-5
Think of a time in your life that was marked by suffering. How can you use that experience as a story of hope and encouragement to help others?
A couple of occasions have had suffering for me, but not as I believe the Revelations passage is referring too. I think it is important to define suffering though. Suffering is to ” undergo, endure or submit too” something. It also means to “allow, permit, put up with, tolerate”. The bible uses both versions. My belief is that this part of the 40 Days is referring too the first, based upon the Revelations passage as John was writing to people who were experiencing death due to their belief. People who were in mourning, crying and pain.
I have been LUCKY… Suffering for me as been things like Bankruptcy in 2009/2010. A love one being brutally beaten, near death, so I suffered for her, but she was really the one who had the damage done.
My suffering has been mostly of the “undergo, endure or submit too” kind. 2009/2010 was a brutal period for me. The economy had a major downturn (recession) and I lost a business in it and had to file Chap7 BK. Personally that was a huge blow to my confidence and ego. IT took me until 2013/2014 to finally get a real job again. I had been maintaining my video gaming event company after the BK, but that was really working it to lose less money… I had a lease, I could not get get out of it, so I worked it full time to minimize the damage, but that left me without being able to get a real job, and, honestly, was not in the right headspace to get one anyway. I was depressed, defeated. For someone who is so confident in them self, I was broken.
I had to find a way out of it. I am a self starter, it took some time, but I got back in the job market, found a job at an HVAC/Chimney company, took their service department over, more then doubled their chimney division sales in 90ish days, and then was off and running again. I had HOPE. I knew I could do it, I just had to Go Do It.

3.8.21
[[Reposted and some updates on 4.12.21 as I turn these into individual blog posts]]
What is one way your perspective on faith has shifted during your journaling on this topic?:
I need to allow God to work in and around me. Have Faith that He will guide me.

Identify an area in your life which you could apply something you learned about faith:
I can apply something daily! and all of it! I often tell God “I got this”, I need to allow Him to tell me, “He has this”

Which aspect of Faith (prayer, doubt, tradition) are you committed to work on right now:
Prayer. Through prayer, I will gain the additional Faith I need, learn to Wait better and be more Patient. Prayer will stifle Doubt and allow me to seek His word.

PRACTICE INTENTIONALITY
The section asks to set aside 15-30 mins a day to read scripture and pray and to log it. I will start with Psalms and Proverbs. Read 1 or 2 per day of each and Pray in a more dedicated way.

4.12.21 Practice Intentionality: I get on board with this end of March as I started a Prayer Journal

3.7.21
[[Reposted and some updates on 4.12.21 as I turn these into individual blog posts]]
Matthew 6:1-2
Share with God the tension you feel between knowing what to do and actually doing it:
Knowing what to do and then actually doing it, I am an expert on the “not doing”. That is not to say I act in opposition, or do the wrong thing, I do what I “feel” and “know” is right, but I do not properly Wait for the next step. God points me in a direction and I say “I got this” and then reason/think/brain my way through the next steps… on a journey of 1000 miles, even a degree or two puts you in a pretty different place. That is ME. So I go the right direction, but I end up a degree or two off… so I do not end up where God has called, or wanted me to be, because I have not been Faithful enough, Waited or been Patient enough to allow Him to give me the nest step, and the next and the next. I know and believe I am not far off… he does not allow me to stray too far, but just far enough that when I get there I KNOW I am not where He wanted.
I look at my goals and dreams and I can see where I did not hit them, and why. In 2008-2010 I was on a solid path with a small business to get some financial goals done. The economy crashed, and I am def not saying it crashed me because I was not Faithful, but I could have easily weathered that crash a lot better than I did. Why didnt I make it through better? A few small things different and I would have, but I did not. 2010 I filed bankruptcy and on paper lost about 1.25M, actual cash in bank, 80-100K, but the businesses were worth a lot more, had I weathered the storm better. I did not listen. I thought I knew better. I thought I had it figured out. He CLEARLY told me I did not… I pushed forward anyway in 2008 and 2009 and 2010 was the fruits of that, a bankruptcy.

3.6.21
[[Reposted and some updates on 4.12.21 as I turn these into individual blog posts]]
Ephesians 1:4-5
How have you been able to break through stereotypes because of your confidence in who God made you to be?:
Not sure I have broke stereotypes. People see my confidence in what I do and naturally believe in me, allow me to lead. I demonstrate knowledge and confidence in that knowledge, make decisions, and that has allowed me to show what God has given me, my skills, my passion, my desire, and allows me to build trust and confidence in others. To lead when it is needed. People trust that my decisions are sound and right.